“I done called up a Gypsy woman on the telephone
Gonna send out a worldwide hoodoo
That’ll be the very thing that’ll suit you
I’m going to see that you be back home in thirty days”
– from Thirty Days by Chuck Berry

AUTHOR’S NOTE: It’s been said that nothing is certain in life except death and taxes. To this time-worn cliché I would add “relationship questions in tarot reading.”

Some (and perhaps most) diviners who are involved in what I call the “pop-tarot” world of social-media fortune telling consider love readings to be their “bread-and-butter” source of income. There is nothing more ubiquitous, and in my opinion less useful, than the forlorn quest for a romantic liaison that strives to avoid the emotional trauma of rejection (in past essays I’ve called this risk-averse approach “hiding behind the tarot”). It strikes me as throwing darts at a dartboard, hoping for a bullseye, or a clandestine maneuver akin to Chuck Berry’s “worldwide hoodoo” that tries to cast a wider net.

I’m never sure if these querents are seeking wise advice on whether they should attempt to lure a specific person of interest into their orbit by reaching out, or are merely harboring an unsubstantiated dream that some unknown but suitable individual will fall into their clutches without being coaxed. (Another pertinent song lyric comes to mind, this one by the Rolling Stones: “I said ‘My, my’ like a spider to a fly/Jump right ahead in my web.”) Given the impersonal nature of so much modern social interaction, my bet would be on the latter, and the deck is certainly stacked against them. However, the guarded nature of the “What does Joe or Mary think/feel about me?” query is usually a dead giveaway as to which it is. One could say that “hope springs eternal” in the form of wishful thinking.

My own approach to tarot is both philosophical and pragmatic, but I try to stay well-clear of the kind of psychic mind-reading that a response to this sort of request entails. After decades of engaging in psychological self-examination with the tarot, I’m confident in saying that natal astrology is a much better way to go in these situations. But it is not nearly as secretive (and avoidant) as asking the cards before tipping one’s hand, and therein lies the charm in engaging a tarot reader in the matter: it doesn’t require sticking one’s neck out as would be the case with gathering birth data to erect a horoscope.

That said, my personal preference in doing a face-to-face tarot reading is to remain unaware of the specific question at the beginning (something I picked up from Eden Gray in 1972) and let the cards and the sitter enjoy a private communion via the act of shuffling before I open my mouth. Consequently, the client could have just such a concern in mind regarding a romantic opportunity and I wouldn’t know it, the idea being to let them form their own conclusions from the testimony given by the cards pulled. Most of the time their focus will become obvious during the subsequent dialogue, but at least I’ll give the tarot a chance to “speak its piece” without initial bias on my part, and then we can dial in the details to the querent’s agenda.

Of course this doesn’t apply when doing remote readings, but the most I typically want to know in advance is the general area-of-life that pertains to the question (e.g. love, work, money, education, relocation) leaving the scope of the answer at least slightly elastic. Having a bit of “wiggle-room” is desirable since the cards are known to respond to scenarios other than the one that was envisioned by the querent. Some of my most productive readings have emerged from this divergence in subject matter as long as the sitter is willing to be somewhat open-minded about the projected outcome.