AUTHOR’S NOTE: In 2022 I satirized Douglas Adams’ already-satirical novel, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (see the link below), in which a talking cow (aptly named “Dish of the Day”) offers up choice cuts of itself to discerning diners, carved from its living flesh “on the hoof” as it were. My own satire took over when I began talking about the Major Arcana as describing different types of dining experience. That essay didn’t cover all 22 trumps, so here I will rectify that shortcoming. (These mind-stretching exercises are enormous fun and one of the reasons why I love the tarot so much.)
The Fool: A quick bite full of empty calories at a fast-food joint;
The Magician: Ordering à la carte from a take-out menu;
The High Priestess: One of those snooty places where you get portions the size of a golf-ball;
The Empress: A wedding reception or birthday party;
The Emperor: A formal black-tie affair;
The Hierophant: A church gathering for dinner and incidental sermonizing;
The Lovers: Date night and the endless salad bar at Ruby Tuesday;
The Chariot: A burger and fries from a mobile food vendor;
Strength: A four-pack of Red Bull;
The Hermit: A three-day fast;
The Wheel of Fortune: A “pot-luck” supper (at which you might need considerable luck);
Justice: Ordering something you wish you hadn’t just because it’s “good for you;”
The Hanged Man: Had to cook for myself tonight. Where’s the Alka-Seltzer?
Death: Don’t eat the salmon mousse! (viz Monty Python’s The Meaning of Life);
Temperance: Following a strict diet and not enjoying it much;
The Devil: Eating ice cream and enjoying it far too much;
The Tower: Out of my way, the Alka-Seltzer didn’t work!
The Star: The “anorexic’s delight” – a thimble-full of mineral water and a small bowl of undressed lettuce;
The Moon: A “liquid lunch;”
The Sun: A taco and a Corona on the beach;
Judgement: Getting the “chef’s special” despite your better judgment;
The World: An “all-you-can-eat” buffet.
Parsifal's Wheel Tarot & Astrology 