AUTHOR’S NOTE: I’ve long believed that the prototypical “average person” often harbors a private agenda that exemplifies the “social user” stigma of the title. They may not even be aware of their antisocial inclinations, but those close to them certainly are.

As a group, social users aspire to either dominate others and thereby gain a personal advantage, or cannily defer to them for the purpose of acquiring a subtler form of influence instead of going “straight for the jugular.” (Sounds a bit like marriage, doesn’t it? Or perhaps the sociopolitical consequences of Gad Saad’s “suicidal empathy:” we unwisely accommodate those who are committed to destroying us.) Conventional wisdom suggests that the second approach is more practical since the first one can elicit stiff resistance, but at the personal level both can typify the “psychic vampire” and feigning submission is more devious than attacking outright with fangs bared.

Between the two lies the unassuming “centrist” who elects to avoid using others or being used by them and prudently chooses to remain neutral while staying alert for incursions from opposite ends of the demographic. It has nothing to do with religious values, it’s just common courtesy and good defensive strategy. After all, “turning the other cheek” just leaves scars on both.

In the language of The Kybalion, these cautious individuals decide where on the spectrum they will come to rest and then “neutralize” the rhythmic pendulum-swing of unbalanced force that renders the pivotal position almost untenable as the energy surges from one pole to the other. How this is to be done in the realm of “users” and their victims isn’t clear but we can surmise that it involves maintaining a discreet distance from those who would either overstep or undermine our boundaries, and assiduously refusing to participate in their mind-games. While this can be a lonely path, it is one that strongly promotes sovereign self-reliance.

In these cynical times when nearly every adult dons a figurative “mask” before stepping out the door (our “public face”), it can be a tricky call to make. There is a fascinating science-fiction story in which the members of an alien race all wore formal, status-conferring face coverings when out-and-about. Letting one’s “second skin” slip exposing the physiognomy beneath caused a traumatic emotional meltdown in anyone who saw it, and widespread pandemonium in larger groups. It was both a grave cultural faux pas and a serious breach of the law.

Perhaps those “alpha” Earthlings who intend to foist their manipulative agenda on the rest of us should have a flaming crimson “D” (for Domineering) tattooed on their forehead to let everyone know the risk of engaging with them. (In the US, the halls of Congress would be awash in a red glow that would do Rudolph proud.) The “S” (Submissive-cum-Passive/Aggressive) types could go unblemished but would be compelled to wear a smirking Guy Fawkes mask so we can see them coming a mile away.

In an ideal world I wouldn’t even mention these absurd solutions, but as a minimally-abusive “centrist” myself when it comes to public interaction, I can use all the help I can get so I don’t automatically have to assume that everyone I meet is “guilty until proven innocent” and then wait for them to display their shortcomings.

If I were to approach this determination with the tarot cards, I would most likely create a spread with a “social priorities” position and view the card that lands there as a window on the subject’s communal attitudes and behaviors. I might even devise a table for all of the cards that runs the gamut from “Mean Mistreater” at one end to “Snake-in-the-Grass” at the other, with “Honest Abe” and his protege “Babe-in-the-Woods” in the middle of the pack, well out of harm’s way.